toddler rules..

I saw this on someone elses blog and thought it was very cute and exactly right!

TODDLER RULES.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be removed.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed .
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor .
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table .
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.
It must be pushed by me instead.
If it is paper, it must be torn
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed. (CURRENTLY HAPPENING ON MY COMPUTER)
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on floor .
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled open.
If it is a tooth brush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone , I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool , milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.